Branding expert, PTFW Board Member, entrepreneur, wife and mother, Orsolya (Orsi) Herbein has much to…
Bonus Granddaughter
The greatest blessing in my life has been my daughter and son, and the joy and meaning they have brought to me. I have loved seeing the world through their eyes and being part of their exploration to discover their individual paths. Some days were amazing. Some were very difficult, but the love I felt was never ever compromised. The icing on the cake came when, as grown adults, I could marvel at the wondrous human beings they turned out to be and truly appreciate them for who they were. Of course, I heard the tales about “but wait until you have grandchildren”, but wondered, could that really be that much
better?
It quickly became clear that while not better, it surely is different. Holding that first grandchild I found total bliss…tremendous joy without the overwhelming sense of responsibility for day-to-day decisions. It was such fun, with grandchildren nestled on my lap, to revisit my kids’ favorite books. Together, we found Richard Scarry’s Gold Bug on every page and imagined picking berries as we enjoyed Blueberries for Sal all over again. We found new books and new authors, too. So many great books; so little time!
My grands liked me to sing the same songs that I sang to my children long ago, even if Grammy’s voice was less melodic than ever. I took on the duty of teaching the very important skill of mudpie making with each grandson in his turn. While trying to hose them off I remember thinking that I just didn’t remember mud being so dirty when my kids were little. We were fortunate that they never lived more than thirty minutes away from us, so I missed very few activities and events. They greeted me with a hug (okay occasionally with a quick reminder) and l looked so forward to that.
As the eldest got busier with his life and was around a little less, his younger brother still usually came to our home after school. We might pick him up after whatever practice or take him to a game if his parents had to work late. He said, my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were the very best because my secret ingredient was love. That always brought a smile to my lips and ensured he got a second sandwich! His parents would say he could make his own snack, but it was my pleasure to make it for him.
I remember when my eldest grandson introduced me to a new girl – actually a beautiful young woman. Suddenly everything seemed so different. The stars in his eyes that previously came from video games or theater performances were brighter than ever. The very way he looked at her made it clear that she was someone special. It was nice to see him so happy. I admit to being a little apprehensive. Would she take him away from us (from me)? Would she not be comfortable around my generation? She has her own close- knit family so how much room would there be for his family if this is really serious? Over time we got to know each other. We shared family birthday dinners because ours are just a day apart. Her shyness seemed to wear off around me and I let down my guard and began to relax. She finished her college degree and pursued her many talents.
She is a very gifted photographer. Eventually their beautiful wedding day arrived (oh, yes, it was serious) and I told her that I loved her and how happy I am to have her in my family. What joy when she hugged me and said she loved me, too. She calls me Gram. We have some deep conversations and we’ve even gone to aerial yoga together. All my concerns were for naught. My grandson gave me Jenny a bonus granddaughter and I thank him for that special gift! Life is still full of surprises.