Mary Jane Dougherty is an artist, psychotherapist, mother, grandmother, member of Prime Time for Women and my mom’s younger sister, which makes her my aunt. She’s also an incredible inspiration!

At 85, after a lifetime of interesting challenges, incredible joys, and meaningful experiences, Mary Jane has a refreshing take on the freedom that comes with aging. During a recent phone call, she shared that on September 20, 2025, she had the honor of speaking to a sangha in Chicago on the topic of “Aging & Death.”

I didn’t know what a “sangha” was, so I looked it up.  It’s is a Sanskrit word meaning “community”, often used in Buddhism to describe a spiritual group dedicated to mindfulness, compassion and mutual support. Honestly, it sounds like something everyone should have!

After our conversation, Mary Jane felt inspired to share excerpts from her presentation with Prime Time for Women. Like many of us, she believes in living life to the fullest—but with the wisdom of age, she understands that what “full” looks like changes over time.

Mary Jane On Aging

Reflections on aging can often focus on what we have to give up. However, I would like to focus on how aging can foster a sense of finding new freedom. Shifting perspectives has helped me and I hope it can help you.

In 2020, I moved from my house into an apartment and lived alone for the first time. Though I continued working online as a therapist, my free time was truly mine. For an extrovert raised in a large Irish Catholic family, being alone without responding to others was a big shift.

I discovered a new sense of space—both physical and emotional. I could do what I felt like doing, instead of constantly chasing the next task. As I age there seems to be more spaciousness around life’s choices. This freedom from external demands has opened up an inner spaciousness, allowing me to choose when and how to act. While I’m learning to live with the limitations of an aging body, I’m also learning to let go of outer expectations.

Mary Jane On Death

Death is something we all must face. As I reflect on my own, I’m learning to accept “the not knowing” with curiosity. Meditation has helped me build that mindset. It’s taught me to live meaningfully without needing to control outcomes, to follow my intuition, and to stay attuned to what feels right.

I often return to the words of Alfred North Whitehead:

“Everything that is actual becomes and perishes… It is a feature shared by all things.”

It’s beautiful to ponder our shared humanity…I am reminded we all have more in common than we think!

Mary Jane on Living

Mary Jane closed with a beautiful quote by Rupert Spira that captures the essence and transformative power of meditation:

“If awareness were likened to an ocean, thoughts would be the waves that play on the surface and feelings the currents that flow within it. Just as all there is to the waves and currents is the movement or activity of the ocean, so all there is to the mind is the motion or activity of

awareness. It is always still in the depths of the ocean, likewise, the heart of awareness is always silent and at peace. For this reason, all the mind has to do to find peace for which it longs is to sink into the heart of awareness.”